Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
