Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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