How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
