booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
