How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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