If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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