you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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