We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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