We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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