Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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