i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
