I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
