Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I'm really busy with my period
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