The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
