Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
