I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
