I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize