The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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