So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i think i just lost a toe
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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