my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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