she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
