so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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