well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
