I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
