This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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