That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
