Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
