Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
