About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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