ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
