I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you inspire me to be a worse person
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
