I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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