i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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