My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
