my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
birth control should be required to get into college
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
