I showed him my bush... on skype.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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