Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
