Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
