Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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