Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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