i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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