I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
this is an emotional support booty call
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
