I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
