Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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