HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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