Small penises have feelings too.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
