My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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