He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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