Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
