i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
