I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
