I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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