Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
