She is in my trunk
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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