it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
