Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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