i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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