NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
