i just google imaged poop.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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