you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
