All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We have started to decorate penises.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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