My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize