To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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