I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
