my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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