YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
